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___ez_e___ Life Tips & Lessons


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___ez_e___ #1 Posted 02 July 2019 - 11:53 AM

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Hey guys!

 

I decided to start a thread about life tips and lessons!

 

I’m going to provide you tips to make your life better and easier as well as lessons I’ve learned in life.  

 

Most of this is serious, but of course I don’t take myself that seriously so there will definitely be funny and light hearted stuff.   

 

Whether you choose to read is up to you.  

 

 

TIP - Get bidets!

 

Thats right!   Every bathroom in my home has a bidet.  The sooner you get the bidet, the sooner you will thank me.    Actually your posterior will thank me.   It’s a great investment.   

 

The bidets of today are high tech.  The bidets I own have variable heated seat, water pressure, dryer, deodorizer, and night light.  Plus you can customize it for users.   Mine also has a remote and soft close lid.    

 

I’ve had bidets for about 10 years and I’m never going back.  In fact, I hate using restroom that don’t have them.  If I could, I would have a bidet installed at work.  


Edited by ___ez_e___, 02 July 2019 - 02:35 PM.


RonaldusMaximus_ #2 Posted 02 July 2019 - 12:48 PM

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The  TP lobby (Big TP) has successfully campaigned against this idea for almost a century. I suppose you can order them on Amazon, but you will never find one in Home Depot.  I suppose if I ever get hemorrhoids Ill consider one, But there's something about Cottonell that makes me feel dry and properly cleaned down there.

View Post_Cletus, on 23 October 2019 - 08:49 AM, said:

I don't know how I feel about Ronnie cosplaying a 9 year old with a stranger on the internet.....

 

 

 


_Cletus #3 Posted 02 July 2019 - 02:25 PM

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I agree with the bidet.  I've only ever used one once, in France, but it was heavenly.  I don't have any bidet's at home but I do have a waterhose, so.......

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cheesehead247365 #4 Posted 02 July 2019 - 04:10 PM

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what a great post.  +1 

4sfield #5 Posted 02 July 2019 - 06:25 PM

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  Sprinkling water on my bunghole after squat purging a bologna sandwich is not my idea of heaven. But then, I’ve made due with a handful of leaves and come home from working the field missing a shirt sleeve or sock. I never once sat there thinking, “Damn, if only I had some water, a blow dryer and some powder to clean this s-hole with, I’d never have to go back to the house”. 

 

 


 

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___ez_e___ #6 Posted 02 July 2019 - 06:54 PM

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When I have to wipe I get that “not so fresh feeling”, but with bidet I’m clean as a whistle.   

 

Think about it.  

 

Either smear feces away by wiping (not really clean and sometimes itchy- btw not from personal experience) or wash it a way with water.  

 

We know some of y’all is nasty.     Lol


Edited by ___ez_e___, 02 July 2019 - 06:54 PM.


_Cletus #7 Posted 02 July 2019 - 07:30 PM

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View Post___ez_e___, on 02 July 2019 - 12:54 PM, said:

When I have to wipe I get that “not so fresh feeling”, but with bidet I’m clean as a whistle.   

 

Think about it.  

 

Either smear feces away by wiping (not really clean and sometimes itchy- btw not from personal experience) or wash it a way with water.  

 

We know some of y’all is nasty.     Lol

 Option 3:  Use your hands.  Back in my oilfield days I worked with some guys who just used their hands.  It's a cultural thing, I think from parts of the middle east or africa, I don't remember exactly where they were from anymore.  It's been many years so I may have this backward, but they would only use their right hand for anything because they would only wipe with their left.  I worked with a lot of dudes from all over the world and I always tried to respect people's culture and what not, but I would not allow these particular dudes to touch me at all, with either hand.

 

Don't knock a bidet until you've tried it.  It's so much better.


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4sfield #8 Posted 02 July 2019 - 07:44 PM

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  You bidet guys are soft. No wonder men have less testosterone than they used to, bunch of sissies. You might as well go ahead and do the transition surgery, y’all aren’t far from needing tampons anyway.

 

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___ez_e___ #9 Posted 08 July 2019 - 03:24 PM

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TIP - Get a bedjet 

 

What is it?   Automated climate control for when you sleep.   

 

Why do we need it?   Getting proper comfortable uninterrupted rem sleep is important for overall health.

 

It keeps temperature level (hot and cold) and keeps the sweaty bed away.   

 

For the married guys, this may save some of y’all marriages.  

 

Are you tired of wifey freezing while your still hot?    Bedjet is your answer. 

 

I just recently upgraded to the Bedjet 3.  

 

Sleep in peace. 

 


Edited by ___ez_e___, 08 July 2019 - 03:25 PM.


___ez_e___ #10 Posted 14 October 2019 - 07:29 PM

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Have that perfect green manicured lawn?

 

Let me tell you how vanity is literally killing us.  
 

A couple of years ago I embarked on raising organic chickens (so much fun and work).  In order to do so, I had already stopped using chemical fertilizers, herbicides, and pesticides.    
 

My wife commented how our lawn was a different more natural green.  We also realize that wild birds obviously can see the color difference and birds purposely come to my lawn.  My soil is full of bugs and the wild birds love coming to my lawn.   
 

Now take a look at the perfect manicure lawn.   Artificial green with all plant life dead except for grass.  If you take a look at the soil, there is little to no bug activity.   
 

This is not normal.  
 

We only have these lawns as a hold over from Victorian times when maintaining a great lawn to the estate was a symbol of wealth.  
 

 

The chemicals we use is just to much a toxic mix that is harmful to your family, your pets, the environment, and you. 
 

I only use natural stuff for my lawn.   Yes it’s full of weeds, but those are the natural plant life.  Keeping it trimmed and it looks fine.   
 

I really am not feeling it, when I get the card in the mail telling me my neighbor is going to get chemicals sprayed on their lawn.   


Edited by ___ez_e___, 14 October 2019 - 07:35 PM.


Blartch #11 Posted 15 October 2019 - 12:47 AM

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If someone has a pistol pointed directly against your head, you can disarm them by:

1) initially holding your hands above your head, as though showing "I'm disarmed"

2) swiftly dropping your head down while...

3) rapidly clamping both hands around the firearm

4) stand and push the firearm up and backwards, while twisting the muzzle up and back (as though towards the attacker).  This creates a level of torsion in the attackers hand that is difficult to overcome, and can actually break his fingers if done swiftly enough

5) once the muzzle is pointed away from you, yank the firearm back (from fully extended arms to something similar to cradling a football) to wrest it from the attacker's grasp

6) if feeling saucy, clear and brandish the weapon at the former aggressor

7) complete the maneuver with a totally awesome one-liner of your choosing



Blartch #12 Posted 15 October 2019 - 02:17 AM

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To properly scruff a mouse (or other small rodent), grasp the mouse by its tail with your thumb and index finger, and lift slightly, allowing its front paws to grasp an object.  At this point, grip the base of its tail between your pinky finger and pad of your palm.  Release the tail in your tumb and forefinger, and rotate them towards the scruff of the rodent's neck, pressing down slightly as you fix your grasp to reduce the likelihood of being bitten.  You may then deliver injections, clip teeth, or mark ears as necessary for your procedure of choice.

__Frostbite #13 Posted 15 October 2019 - 04:00 PM

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This is a godly thread. Here's my tips:

1. If you ever need to pick up a large dog (broken glass on the floor, trying to measure its weight, whatever it may be), put your non-dominant arm behind their front legs, and put your dominant arm behind their back legs, under the tail. Then pull upward, so that the dog can rest on your dominant arm and should have its front legs sticking straight out as your non-dominant arm is underneath them.

2. Don't forget to declinate your compass before depending your life on it. Here's a nice map showing the declination zones in America. https://i.redd.it/8vy84v675k001.jpg Your phone probably has the declination factored in by default for you, but it's worth checking up on.

3. If someone has their hands on your throat, take your left arm and snake it above their right arm, and below their left, and then yank. You should have a hand free to then retaliate if necessary. 

4. If you happen upon a mother bear with her cubs, playing dead might help your chances of survival. But if you are being stalked, or being attacked (especially by black bears), fight for your life. Scream and act like you're a threat to the bear. Don't go into bear country without pepper spray, a firearm (if you're gonna carry, carry the highest legal caliber you can), a knife, something.

5. Command+F is severally underrated when you need to search for something. You can actually do it on iOS devices as well by tapping "Share", and exploring the options.

6. When leaving on a road trip, don't forget to check your spare tire as well as your regular ones. My dad got a flat one time in the mountains, and his spare was hardly any better--it had been a few years since he last checked it and the air pressure was super low, so he had to limp the car to the closest gas station to fill up the pressure.

7. Now that we're talking about road trips, bring a roll of paper towels, a window cleaner spray bottle, and a squeegee in the passenger door compartments. It depends where you go, but if you're headed anywhere towards the mountains, you're going to accumulate a lot of bugs on the windshield. This is a great way to clean them off when you're not near a gas station.

8. If able to put in codes for online shopping, try "SAVE10, SAVE20, or SAVE30", they're common codes that get used a lot. Won't work all the time but its always worth trying.

9. There's a lot of stuff that you learn in school that's definitely worth forgetting, but knowing trigonometry is super helpful for construction projects and has lots of applicable uses in real life. 

10. If you're going to ignore everything on this list, at least don't ignore this one: DO NOT EAT THE YELLOW SNOW

 

Bonus (ones I thought of later):

-Sharpie is alcohol based, so if you ever need to get rid of permanent marker, wipe a bit of rubbing alcohol and it should come right off.

-When backpacking, if you know you're prone to blisters or you don't like to take risks, apply two bandages on your foot before putting on your socks--one on your heel, the other covering the balls of your feet

- The three most convenient knots (in my opinion, of course) to know are the bowline, the taunt line hitch, and the clove hitch. The bowline makes an unslippable loop and is made with the rabbit-and-tree method (Google all of these by the way), the taunt line makes an adjustable loop that can be used to quickly shorten or lengthen a rope that's already tied, and the clove hitch allows you to fasten a rope to a pole in only a few seconds.

I've used the bowline for rescue drills, I used the taut line to make a rope swing for my friends where I could lower or raise the height of the log for the different heights of my friends, and I used the clove hitch just yesterday to fasten my dog's leash to a post for half a minute while I was at the park so I could use the bathroom in peace.


Edited by __Frostbite, 15 October 2019 - 04:10 PM.

rusty.

_Cletus #14 Posted 15 October 2019 - 04:42 PM

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If you are finishing a piece, or refinishing a piece, I like using polyurethane for the clear coat.  What most people don't understand is that while polyurethane takes a long time to dry, it immediately forms a "skin" that floats on top of the drying urethane, so you need to utilize some techniques to minimize brush marks showing on the skin.  The first thing you want to do is clean the work area thoroughly.  Any dirt or dust that ends up on your piece will stick to it.  I take a leafblower and blow out my entire shop.  Then I set up a number of fans around the piece in such a way that any dust that is stirred up is blown away from the work.  Sand the piece, whether bare, stained, or painted, with at 400 grit or higher paper.  Don't skip steps on the way to 400 either, start with 100, then 200, then 400, then I usually do 800 or 1000 grit.  Lightly wipe the entire piece with a tack cloth [cheesecloth with resin] to pick up any dirt or dust on the piece.  Your first coat should be very light.  It should look almost incomplete, if the entire piece is covered then you're going way too heavy.  Do not use a foam brush, a natural bristle brush is your best bet for finishing.  Dip the brush in the urethane, wipe off the excess, and apply urethane to only small sections at a time.  Apply your thin coat, then "tip off."  Tipping off is holding the brush at a 45 degree angle and sliding across the freshly applied urethane.  This will smooth it and pop any air bubbles that might form.  This all has to be done quickly, before that skin forms, other wise your brush marks will be preserved in the skin.  This is why it's important to do small sections at a time.  After you've coated the piece let it dry for approximately 4 hours, then lightly sand with 400 or higher grit sand paper and apply another coat.  You should use a minimum of 3 coats, most of my projects end up with 5-7 coats.

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cheasesteak #15 Posted 15 October 2019 - 07:43 PM

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View Post_Cletus, on 15 October 2019 - 04:42 PM, said:

If you are finishing a piece, or refinishing a piece, I like using polyurethane for the clear coat.  What most people don't understand is that while polyurethane takes a long time to dry, it immediately forms a "skin" that floats on top of the drying urethane, so you need to utilize some techniques to minimize brush marks showing on the skin.  The first thing you want to do is clean the work area thoroughly.  Any dirt or dust that ends up on your piece will stick to it.  I take a leafblower and blow out my entire shop.  Then I set up a number of fans around the piece in such a way that any dust that is stirred up is blown away from the work.  Sand the piece, whether bare, stained, or painted, with at 400 grit or higher paper.  Don't skip steps on the way to 400 either, start with 100, then 200, then 400, then I usually do 800 or 1000 grit.  Lightly wipe the entire piece with a tack cloth [cheesecloth with resin] to pick up any dirt or dust on the piece.  Your first coat should be very light.  It should look almost incomplete, if the entire piece is covered then you're going way too heavy.  Do not use a foam brush, a natural bristle brush is your best bet for finishing.  Dip the brush in the urethane, wipe off the excess, and apply urethane to only small sections at a time.  Apply your thin coat, then "tip off."  Tipping off is holding the brush at a 45 degree angle and sliding across the freshly applied urethane.  This will smooth it and pop any air bubbles that might form.  This all has to be done quickly, before that skin forms, other wise your brush marks will be preserved in the skin.  This is why it's important to do small sections at a time.  After you've coated the piece let it dry for approximately 4 hours, then lightly sand with 400 or higher grit sand paper and apply another coat.  You should use a minimum of 3 coats, most of my projects end up with 5-7 coats.

 

A few more (or alternate) ideas that I use:

 

- Poly does dry really slow for the first coat.  To avoid this, I use two coats of shellac (wax free) prior to the poly.  I mix 50/50 with alcohol and then apply with a foam brush.  Light sand with 400 of higher as Cletus says, and then another coat. You can skip the sanding between coats if you apply the second coat relatively quickly (an hour or so).  Sand again after second coat. 

- For the poly, I also go with at least 3, but better 5 coats.  I mix 50/50 with mineral spirits, and apply with a pieces of pantyhose/nylons. I find that this leaves less streaks than either foam or a brush.  Sand between coats.  


Edited by cheasesteak, 15 October 2019 - 07:57 PM.

 

 

... and Epstein didn’t kill himself





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