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HumbleRumble, Houdini Tanker!

SPUD Kolobanov abracadabra done with mirrors

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SonnetVolta #1 Posted 10 June 2017 - 12:53 AM

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SPUD has a thread for clan stories. This deserves a wider audience, because I simply don't understand how it happened AT. ALL.


Two days ago, I'm platooned with HumbleRumble in Tier X, my FV215b and his IS-7. We're on Yamato Harbor, and we start in the warehouses, nothing too special. He's up front brawling, and I'm 50m behind him sniping. We're mixing it up with most of the red team. Meanwhile, red is also capping.


HumbleRumble kills two red tanks at very close range. Very close range. VERY CLOSE. He is, in fact, boxed in by a wall, a crate, and the burning hulks of two dead red tanks. Meanwhile, there are still red tanks shooting at him. I blast one of them. Then, I try to free my platoon mate. At full speed, I collide with the dead JPE 100 that is double-parked against HumbleRumble. Nope.  So I pull around and then back into the JPE 100, because I've heard that we have better torque in reverse (could be a myth). Nope. A green leopard PTA comes by to help me. We cannot make any progress. The JPE is not moving. The crate is non-destructable. Meanwhile, it's only 3–2, I've lost all situational awareness trying to bulldoze a clear path for HumbleRumble, and we still haven't seen two of the biggest red heavies: Maus and E 100.


The cap is at 50 when I give up and head for the battleship to reset. Here's a picture, which I snap so I can tease him about it after we lose the game:



Here is a zoomed-in version:



And here is a super-technical diagram version:



As you can tell, I feel very optimistic. My optimism knows NO BOUNDS when I peek around the corner to see the Yamato, cap counter at 80, and see the Maus sitting there, looking right at me. The red E 100 is behind him, sidescraping/hull-down off the gigantic Maus. I have APCR loaded, and I put one right into the little square on the Maus. Boom. 400 dmg. 


Cap counter is at 70. The Maus only had 12 capture points. The E 100 has all the capture points. So I do the sensible thing: I panic.


Okay, well in addition to panicking, I look around for a shot at the E 100. I do not have one. He is being smart and only kind-of looking at me, so his turret is about 10° off perpendicular to my gun. APCR on my FV215b, and the E 100 front turret is a red wall. Both he and the Maus have shot me, because I am a panicked idiot and the FV215b doesn't have much armor anyway. I load HESH and shoot at the tiny little bumps on the E 100 turret. No damage. Little voice says "That didn't go through."


But the cap is down to 10. Because my HESH round 






So there.


Nice, but now both red heavies are focus firing on me and I'm in a world of hurt. I die, the team dies, everybody dies except HumbleRumble, who is out of commission. So I click over to see poor HumbleRumble get executed. Except he is free. Somebody explain to me how, because a minute ago he was locked down tight.


That doesn't really matter, though, because he is alone against three red heavies, and two of those have made most of the kills. So he's doomed, right?











I've seen plenty of Tier X aces. I have a few myself. But I have never seen one like this. It was flat-out magic.

Edited by SonnetVolta, 10 June 2017 - 01:18 AM.

better sig

christian1470 #2 Posted 10 June 2017 - 01:27 AM

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Cool story, bro. 


No, really.


I mean it. 


jkwon126 #3 Posted 10 June 2017 - 01:35 AM

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awesome story. those winches come in handy when the crew has time to hop out :D


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Ookla_the_Mok #4 Posted 10 June 2017 - 01:44 AM

    VCR is Peak Tech

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Tow Truck Haxor confirmed!



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Alternatively you can check out


Paradox_Donut #5 Posted 10 June 2017 - 01:59 AM

    Russian Sealclubber

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I   hAvE nO iDeA wHaT i'M dOiNg

Zip_Zip #6 Posted 10 June 2017 - 02:25 AM

    First Sergeant

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Battle hardened IS7's teleport, did no one tell you?


Gg guys :)

Always remember, wherever you go, there you are...

164 tanks mastered // Have tanks, will battle // Click here for my youtube channel 


Money_mann____ #7 Posted 10 June 2017 - 02:37 AM

    First Sergeant

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View PostZip_Zip, on 09 June 2017 - 09:25 PM, said:

Battle hardened IS7's teleport, did no one tell you?


Gg guys :)


The gift of gold camo. 




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SieurPersil #8 Posted 10 June 2017 - 02:38 AM

    Knight of the Round Potato

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Man, I was reading sitting on the edge of my seat and dropped all my popcorn !

Volunteer Tater Ambassador - Potentate Relationship Manager - Inter Clan Camping Liaison Officer. Knight of the round potato. Information regarding the hamac or our adirondack chairs available. Quote of the moment : "Will focus fire on WriterDude for beer"

itsnotpersonal #9 Posted 10 June 2017 - 04:03 AM

    It's just business

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Great story. Unreal recovery, but plausible.


j0nn0 #10 Posted 10 June 2017 - 04:25 AM

    F2P Skrub

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Can somebody say Russian bias?

I may have a few too many tanks. I think I was over 150 in garage by last count.

HumbleRumble #11 Posted 10 June 2017 - 09:08 PM

    184mm Incarnate

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That HumbleRumble guy is a clown for getting himself stuck in the first place. If he had been a better driver, you probably would've survived the battle.
Stay Humble

tpcshadow #12 Posted 10 June 2017 - 10:49 PM

    First Sergeant

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I tooned with nostuck2150 from SPUDX and the first game I got stuck; at least he lived up to his name and got me unstuck. Unlike Humble, no one boxed me in, I just pulled a dumb move (tried to take a short cut on the new Aztec map).

t4four #13 Posted 12 June 2017 - 02:57 AM

    Fix the cigarette lighter

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Obviously he found someone to hold his beer.
I like turtles

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