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Read my mediocre story!! Author requests constructive criticism. (Fallout Fans)

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t99_2015 #1 Posted 15 May 2018 - 02:35 AM

    Sergeant

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  • 21066 battles
  • 306
  • [USAA]
  • Member since:
    12-27-2014

So, I decided to try my hand at writing stories and I decided to write a fanfiction (erase those dirty images from your mind). 

Well, it's based on the Fallout Franchise and for those who need a bit of reference, go to the Fallout Wiki and search up Mr. House

Keep in mind, this is just an experiment for now and I just need some constructive criticism.

Thanks in advance for the help you will give me.:)

 

The story: https://www.fanficti...-the-Apocalypse



7_3_PowerStroke #2 Posted 15 May 2018 - 02:36 AM

    First Sergeant

  • Players
  • 7605 battles
  • 1,133
  • [MAHOU]
  • Member since:
    12-25-2014

And while you're at it, read mine!!!!

 

https://www.fanficti...53050/1/Missing

 


Stats

I write fanfiction and watch anime. Deal with it.

 

formerly _Maho_Nishizumi_212


Blesd12 #3 Posted 15 May 2018 - 02:37 AM

    Bulldog Alpha

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  • [RAIDR]
  • Member since:
    07-23-2014
Did one based on destiny once, got to like 4 pages typed, 8 on paper before I got lazy, have another one planned tho

Bulldog is Here!!! 

"Bulldog will always win! Unless a frickin russian shows up. Dang russian 152 mm.


t99_2015 #4 Posted 15 May 2018 - 02:40 AM

    Sergeant

  • Players
  • 21066 battles
  • 306
  • [USAA]
  • Member since:
    12-27-2014

View Post_Maho_Nishizumi_212, on 15 May 2018 - 02:36 AM, said:

And while you're at it, read mine!!!!

 

https://www.fanficti...53050/1/Missing

 

 

40k words, nice! This could be an interesting story during my spare time.

Give me a few days to read it and I'll review it on Fanfiction



7_3_PowerStroke #5 Posted 15 May 2018 - 02:44 AM

    First Sergeant

  • Players
  • 7605 battles
  • 1,133
  • [MAHOU]
  • Member since:
    12-25-2014

View Postt99_2015, on 14 May 2018 - 09:40 PM, said:

 

40k words, nice! This could be an interesting story during my spare time.

Give me a few days to read it and I'll review it on Fanfiction

 

Thanks! I'm still working on it. 50k as of now,

Stats

I write fanfiction and watch anime. Deal with it.

 

formerly _Maho_Nishizumi_212


t99_2015 #6 Posted 15 May 2018 - 02:54 AM

    Sergeant

  • Players
  • 21066 battles
  • 306
  • [USAA]
  • Member since:
    12-27-2014

Welp, just re-read my story and realized I left out a few words.

Meh, I'll deal with it right now.:sceptic:



__Seeker__ #7 Posted 15 May 2018 - 12:23 PM

    探求者

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    08-16-2015

To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine daaaay...

 

Ill read it as soon as I get back from work! Anything Fallout related is welcome!


Proud Chieftain Mk.6 Royal and 121B Invincible Driver!

Check out my Youtube Channel!

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCf29jGnzx8G75Z_-QGaw7OA


7_3_PowerStroke #8 Posted 15 May 2018 - 01:31 PM

    First Sergeant

  • Players
  • 7605 battles
  • 1,133
  • [MAHOU]
  • Member since:
    12-25-2014

View Postt99_2015, on 14 May 2018 - 09:54 PM, said:

Welp, just re-read my story and realized I left out a few words.

Meh, I'll deal with it right now.:sceptic:

 

Do you know how often I have 2 do that?

Stats

I write fanfiction and watch anime. Deal with it.

 

formerly _Maho_Nishizumi_212


Melissa_Durat #9 Posted 17 May 2018 - 01:06 AM

    Senior Sergeant

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    03-07-2017
The House always wins :bajan:

t99_2015 #10 Posted 17 May 2018 - 01:22 AM

    Sergeant

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View PostMelissa_Durat, on 17 May 2018 - 01:06 AM, said:

The House always wins :bajan:

 

In all honesty, I always thought that Mr. House was the best choice of them all.

 

NCR is too overextended and too bureaucratic. Not the sort of government you can trust in a post-apocalyptic wasteland 

Caesar's Legion.... Does anyone really need to explain this at all?:confused:

Wild Card depends too heavily on how the player shapes the Courier. You can have a tyrant that makes Caesar look like an innocent child or you can have a democratic society that won't be able to advance at all.

Mr House, on the other hand has a well-thought out long-term plan that not only allows humanity to survive but also thrive.



7_3_PowerStroke #11 Posted 17 May 2018 - 02:34 AM

    First Sergeant

  • Players
  • 7605 battles
  • 1,133
  • [MAHOU]
  • Member since:
    12-25-2014

View Postt99_2015, on 16 May 2018 - 08:22 PM, said:

 

In all honesty, I always thought that Mr. House was the best choice of them all.

 

NCR is too overextended and too bureaucratic. Not the sort of government you can trust in a post-apocalyptic wasteland 

Caesar's Legion.... Does anyone really need to explain this at all?:confused:

Wild Card depends too heavily on how the player shapes the Courier. You can have a tyrant that makes Caesar look like an innocent child or you can have a democratic society that won't be able to advance at all.

Mr House, on the other hand has a well-thought out long-term plan that not only allows humanity to survive but also thrive.

 

You know things about ur fic. You've got a leg on me, to an extent. I've been fighting writer's block for a week now...

Stats

I write fanfiction and watch anime. Deal with it.

 

formerly _Maho_Nishizumi_212






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