0
Awkward Icebreaker:
Do you like to put moist, succulent meat in your mouth?
If yes - proceed.
If no - close this window, shut off your device, and repent for your mistaken life choices.
Philosophy:
With screening out of the way, Team Brisket is nudging the smokehouse door open for possible new members. Besides the obvious importance of the Brisket Lifestyle, the guiding principle at work here is one of low friction in an adult environment that emphasizes jocularity over jock, rugged good looks over rigidity, fun over frustration, and drunk tanking over dumb tanking.
Philosophy Applied:
Low friction in practice means that clan members are not required to platoon, participate in tournaments or clan wars, etc. This desire to avoid the obligation mentality of training and scheduled events is not intended to eliminate events, rather it is to emphasize the core fun of tanking and then attack each new opportunity based on interest/ability/availability. Rest assured that any future event participation will have many people singing the praises of "that meat clan." There are ample opportunities to run platoons and they can be a significant positive for any clan, but once again removing the requirement enhances rather than mitigates the enjoyment.
Perks:
Brisket Lifestyle with a tag denoting your enlightened state.
Automatic entry into the annual “Ron Swanson Cosplay Pageant and Talent Revue.”
Discord channel featuring other meat lovers, distinguished guests, and infamous interlopers. The BRSKT Discord abstains from anime, oof, and memelord actions while simultaneously providing the appropriate blend of casual/serious/shenanigans that may or may not include tanks/music/beer/rants/cussing.
Preferred consideration for an unpaid internship with Prestige Worldwide.
Meat.
The Meat & Potatoes Buried Lede:
I'm a player that oscillates between filthy casual and competitive, between A-hole and helpful, between tanking as an escape from work/wife/world and tanking as something approaching a hobby. I also have a recurring inclination that there are (a few) other players in a similar position that may want a clan or a new clan as I know clans can shift dramatically over time. I have zero desire to artificially apply faux-military structures or absurd loyalty pledges in the context of what should be entertainment. I do not want to be bogged down with kid nonsense or gaming culture traps as I'd rather shoot the bad guys and attempt to carry my underwhelming team.
Non-tank Requirements:
30 years of age or older. Exceptions are possible if you have “seen some stuff” such as a nasty divorce, dated a vegan in a horrible nightmare, or grinded the 28 Proto.
Team Brisket is not looking for angels/milquetoast. There will never be some clown that breaks out a guitar and sings Kumbaya. You should think more along the lines of tolerant and reasonable yet taking exactly zero crap.
Tank Requirements (these feel necessary though are not of primary importance):
50% WR or better across career and recent in tiers 5-9.
2000+ games in tiers 5-9.
General competence and diversity.
Still Here?
Interest should be communicated via DM here on the forums AND a message in the game client. I will personally provide you with an information packet, application, waiver of liability, and sticker pack. If you somehow overcome my laziness and your tepid interest, then you begin the hazing process with vague goals that will be conducted via Discord.
sams.
