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Infinite Urination

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HumanCoookie #1 Posted 17 October 2018 - 03:16 AM

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     As you walk into the bathroom to brush your teeth you feel the urge to urinate. So after brushing your teeth you stand in your preferred "pee stance" and the process begins. Interestingly enough, the urine doesn't seem to stop flowing and glancing at the clock on the wall shows it's been almost 2 minutes of peeing. Surprised and confused, you begin to think of everything liquid that was consumed within the past day. After thinking with no possible answer the clock shows 6 minutes have passed. Flushing the toilet and then reaching for your phone (because you bring your phone in the bathroom) you dial 911 and explain the situation of having been peeing for almost 6 minutes straight. They send an ambulance over and after a few minutes of peeing later they are heard coming up the stairs. Yet, after their examination they are baffled. Flushing again you hear a helicopter pass by, and then again, and again. Looking at a news notification appearing on your phone screen it's announced you have gone viral. 

     The pee starts to come out faster and harder. Flush after flush. Volunteers from nearby schools come in with buckets and bottles to help. The toilet breaks from extreme overuse. Shoes and feet are wet. Harder now and faster. The buckets and bottles don't help. After a few minutes all 4, 6 gallon jugs are filled with pee. Panicking you stand by the window and start to urinate out of it. There is no sign of it stopping and as it comes out harder and faster you scream. Looking down there is an inch puddle of urine in your room with the volunteers and paramedics confused and running for their lives. You accidentally fall out of the window trying to take a selfie and now the pee is coming out as if it was a garden hose on jet stream. You start to lift up, you grab onto your house's exterior walls. You are pried away from it and carried into orbit. Screaming and flailing with no avail. Reaching space and with bodily functions slowing with a chilled feeling around. Knowing your final moments and looking below and the pee stream heading down to earth are terminal velocity you scoff at the thought of pee rain upon the city you once lived in. As the cold seeps in you close your eyes for the last time and heading farther into space with little ice urine chunks propelling you. 


Edited by HumanCoookie, 17 October 2018 - 03:22 AM.

Totally not forum banned.

BrickSniper33A #2 Posted 17 October 2018 - 03:27 AM

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I would very much like to purchase your urine in order to give liquid to the poor souls that inhabit the deserts of the universe. Your nectar will not be wasted. 

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TunaSandwichNA #3 Posted 17 October 2018 - 04:14 AM


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I don't have a clock in my restroom...

I_Maverick_I #4 Posted 17 October 2018 - 04:27 AM


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View PostVorso, on 16 October 2018 - 08:14 PM, said:

I don't have a clock in my restroom...


He meant watch, not clock. lol


:thinking: too many laxatives again? A nice read, regardless.

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LordManaz #5 Posted 17 October 2018 - 05:08 AM

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A few days ago I was urinating and suddenly a lightning struck near my house and the lights went out ... the rest is a funny and stupid story.



Edited by LordManaz, 17 October 2018 - 11:08 AM.


Maybe the worst noob in NA


Ericmopar #6 Posted 17 October 2018 - 09:15 AM

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I knew it, there is a hidden camera in my John...

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theFANTASTICfox #7 Posted 17 October 2018 - 11:29 AM


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What were the size of your balls? Because pee is stored in the balls.

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This is what BlitzStars is reporting, so I might be reading something incorrectly...


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little_brother_of_war #8 Posted 17 October 2018 - 01:07 PM

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This usually only happens to me when it’s beer night. Now I’ll probably be obsessed with timing myself during this time.


(...maybe I should install a clock?)


Nathanronco #9 Posted 17 October 2018 - 02:10 PM

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View PosttheFANTASTICfox, on 17 October 2018 - 11:29 AM, said:

What were the size of your balls? Because pee is stored in the balls.


Wrong. Pee is stored in the bladder.
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MudkipAtWar #10 Posted 23 October 2018 - 12:17 PM

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View PostNathanronco, on 17 October 2018 - 10:10 AM, said:


Wrong. Pee is stored in the bladder.





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El_Dano_Da_Mano #11 Posted 26 October 2018 - 08:38 AM

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PanzertroopenVT #12 Posted 26 October 2018 - 10:38 AM

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Plant food, grow your own

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